Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
