Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
