I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
