Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
