My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
