is your mom at the bar?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
