oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
