the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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