you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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