Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
