I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
