Me too!
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
