probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
