Sry I called you an 8
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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