I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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