I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
These tits shall not be calmed
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
