i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize