I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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