so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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