I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I deserve this hangover.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
