Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
