shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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