Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
