Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
