Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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