Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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