Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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