I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I puked a lego.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
