weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
