I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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