It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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