I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
