My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
