hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Randomize