in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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