I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Randomize
