It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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