Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
