I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
