I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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