i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
