Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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