This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
My life is pants optional.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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