YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
