Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize