how do flat chested girls get laid?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
