He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
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