For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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