ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
