Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
