She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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