Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
