white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
