You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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