do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
