So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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