Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
