She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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