my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize