There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
