so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize
