Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
