I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
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