guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
