Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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